If
you can't watch the video, it shows a young man in a stylish leather
jacket driving a Lexus IS through a mountain pass. “How do I
explain it?” he wonders. “It was...exhilarating. Nimble.
Responding to my every touch. Moving faster than the wind. That
feeling of pure...driving. It was amazing.” The steering
wheel disappears beneath his hands and suddenly he's sitting in a
spacious self-driving orb, decades older, entering the outskirts of a
major city (Toronto?). And then words appear onscreen:
“Enjoy
the thrill of driving. While you still can.”
Yeah.
Pretty much.
*
Reading
the news today, it's hard not to come to a depressing conclusion:
Self-driving
cars will likely be commercially available within our lifetimes.
 |
| The Weeknd in his all-red Lamb...borghini Aventador SV |
Ok,
so depending on who you are, that might not be depressing. It could
even be damned exciting. I appreciate that not everybody loves
driving like I do, or even particularly enjoys it, or thinks about it
at all unless they're currently doing it. They're not against the
concept, they just don't care. They don't don't spend all their
disposable income on vehicles they don't need. They don't analyze the
specs of cars old and new, calculating dollars-per-horsepower or
power-to-weight ratios. They don't discover the entire library of The
Weeknd because they saw an ad for the Starboy video and clicked on it
to see what the car was.
That's
fine. Self-driving cars are made by and for these people.
Some
people, given the choice, would rather relax and enjoy the ride.
There are people who are technically skilled, but so nervous and
lacking in confidence that in practice they are a danger behind the
wheel. And then there are people who should never operate a motorized
vehicle under any circumstances. I'm actually hesitantly in favour
of developing self-driving cars, especially if they could communicate
with each other, dramatically improving safety and even alleviating
congestion.
The
only reason I'm ultimately against self-driving cars is because I am
deeply afraid that if they become normalized in the public
consciousness, real cars will be legislated against, and that if that
happens, I'll never drive again.
I
mean, Jesus, we practically have self-driving cars already: They're
called BMWs. And grocery-getters aren't much better. Automatic
transmissions, lane departure warning systems, fucking
backup cameras, the entirety of
automotive history has described an arc of human beings having to
know less and less what the hell they're doing, to the undeniable
detriment of their driving abilities. The new Civic Type-R, in spite
of being standard-only, will actually fucking blip the throttle for
you on a downshift, so that you don't have to learn to heel-toe.
Because the last thing you want to do while driving is drive,
apparently.
 |
| Kylie Jenner in her burnt orange Lamborghini Aventador SV |
But
Elon Musk, Waymo, Nissan, and everybody else researching autonomous
vehicle technology don't care what I think. And one of my firm
beliefs is that you can't fight the future: It's coming, and your
only choice is whether to smile and hop on board or watch it leave
you behind. I'm talking social justice in the 60s, the advent of the
Internet, you can see it everywhere. I choose to get on board. I
would even work for a company developing self-driving cars, if that
came up. I'd hate to know that I helped sound the death knell of real
cars, but if it's happening anyway, I might as well be a part of it,
profit from it, and help make history. So I guess it's time to at
least get comfortable with the idea.
*
There
are, however, some alternatives to full autonomy.
Vehicle
autonomy is currently categorized into four levels. Level 1 is what
we currently have everywhere, and Level 4 is the long-term goal of
zero driver input, ever. Level 3 is basically where the car can
drive itself in any situation, but the driver still has the option of
driving themselves if they want to.
Level
2 is where it gets sticky, and it's where we're stuck at present. At
Level 2, the car drives itself, but it requires constant supervision
from a human being, who must be as alert as they would be if driving
themselves, ready to take over at a second's notice should the car's
AI find itself embroiled in one of the numerous situations it is not
equipped to handle. Do you...do you see the problem with this?
Instead,
is there a way to make Level 1 safer? What Japanese automakers, in
contrast to their American and European counterparts, seem to have
arrived at is a broad swathe of features that help a human driver
operate their vehicle more easily. In other words, the computer
becomes not a chauffeur but a copilot. You gotta like that kind of
lateral thinking from a business, filling a need we never knew was
there.
Toyota:
 |
| Toyota Prius Super Bowl commercial. Source. |
Here
is where we have to pause to acknowledge that the Prius is an
absolutely terrible car. The only car I've driven, so far, that was
worse than the Prius was the Smart Fortwo (fingers crossed I get to
drive a Lada someday!). Well, ok, Prius is surprisingly peppy in
Sport mode. But in addition to being auto-only, on account of it's
electric, the throt...um, gas ped...the accelerator isn't
attached to anything, and feels like it. When you depress it, you
aren't pulling a cable that operates the engine, you're asking
permission from the computer to torque the drive axle a few extra
times each second. Really stupid. (Although the Fortwo still wins the
worst because its torque converter shifts like someone learning
to drive standard, and not making a lot of progress with it either.
Although it was shockingly peppy and oddly fun to wheel around...)
But
you also have to acknowledge that the Prius is kind of an amazing
piece of engineering, developed at a time when Toyota was on top and
certainly didn't need something new and surprising, but chose
to develop something anyway in order to avoid becoming stagnant. It's
therefore fitting that it was chosen as the test bed for innovative
developments in driver-assist technology, in partnership withresearchers at MIT.
The
research project uses what the article calls “parallel autonomy,”
human drivers assisted by a computer's detailed analysis and
superhuman reaction times. These Priuses use what is quickly becoming
a fairly standard combination of GPS, cameras, and LIDAR (light-based
radar – so, “eyes”) to facilitate emergency automatic braking
and emergency automatic steering. The researchers assert that people
become inattentive when riding in a Level 2 vehicle, so instead they
sought to augment Level 1.
Nissan:
“If the [self-driving] car hits
black ice, it's in charge of staying on the road. But [human
operators] can help out when the car encounters conditions it's
unsure how to handle. A human operator would look around and use the
car's cameras and other sensors to issue new instructions. The
teleoperator is there to make sure the car doesn't just shut down
when it's too dumb to know what's going on.”
I guess this one's cheating, but
it's still an interesting unexpected solution.
Honda:
 |
| Acura NSX. Source. |
Honda will apparently be using
lessons learned from the Acura NSX to enhance the driving experience
of its Regular Joe cars.
For example, the 2018 Accord will
“match speeds with the car ahead, nudge the wheel to keep you from
straying out of your lane, and it'll even bring the car to a stop if
it detects an impending collision. It can even recognize traffic
signs and display them to the driver. A multiangle backup camera is
also standard on all trims. Blind-spot monitoring, front and rear
parking sensors, rear cross traffic alert and a driver awareness
monitor are optional.”
This is hardly an exhaustive list
of all the developments in self-driving technology, or even just the
Japanese sphere of it – that'd be a topic for a whole blog on its
own – but it's a representative sampling of what's coming out of
the country in that area.
*
And
I kind of hate all this shit.
 |
| Elon Musk with a Tesla Model 3. |
Tesla
has actually recently included an option to allow their cars to go up
to five klicks over the speed limit while in self-driving mode, which
is unbelievably fucking stupid, because how the fuck did you not
understand what you were getting into? Either accept that your car is
going to restrain itself to the legal limit, or learn to drive it
long distances yourself. Fucking rich people, hey?
And
this actually speaks to my wider point: So, so many motorists are
overwhelmed by their own sense of entitlement. I mean really. It's
why they drive like complete dipshits on the highway, or send Mission
Critical texts while driving, or drive while drunk or high. Traffic
safety is one of the only things I take seriously. Because I love
driving, I respect it.
“Oh,
haha, but I actually drive better high, man.” Fuck you.
Fuck. You. “But I only text when it's really important.” It's
never important. You know it, I know it. It's certainly not more
important than what's happening around you. When you say shit like
that, what you're really saying is, “I think I'm more important
than everyone else.” Oh, you literally think you are? Fuck you. We
already went over this.
*
What's
wrong with driver assist?
 |
| Takumi (AE86) and Keisuke (FD) race through the twisties. |
Let's
start with lane departure warnings. This is unbelievably stupid. How
can you not notice when you're drifting out of your lane? Just pay
attention to what the fuck you're doing! I'm annoyed this is even a
thing. Besides, I intentionally drift out of my lane in the twisties,
because that's where the best line is. Of course I never do it faster
than I can see, because that's fucking obvious. Well, maybe this
system could help wake somebody up if their attention starts to drift
on the highway. Maybe that's legitimate. Alright. Alright.
Backup
cameras? Well, OK, but the problem here is that people think that
having a backup camera means they're free to just stare at a display
on the dashboard, letting the beeps tell them when they're done. Um,
no. You have to look all around the vehicle to make sure that
pedestrians, other vehicles, etc aren't staggering gormlessly into
your path, as they do. And you need to actually angle your car into
the stall you want. And avoid knocking into anything outside the
camera's extremely narrow viewpoint as you do it. A backup camera can
be a handy tool. But like any tool, it's only effective for its
intended use.
How
about dashboard lights that indicate when there's a vehicle in your
blind spot? Again, fine, as long as you remember that they're just
tools. You still have to shoulder check and be certain the space
you're moving into is clear, this is just one more safeguard in case
you make a mistake. But that's not how most people will use them, is
it? They will now trust the car to do their job for them, because no
computer has ever had a glitch and no lighbulb has ever burned out.
And by the way, when you have a spare moment, learn to adjust your
mirrors correctly. Then you might not even have a blind spot.
If you can see any part of the vehicle, you're doing it wrong.
Cruise
control is bad enough. This stupid thing where it will now accelerate
to passing speed without you touching the accelerator is even dumber.
But I've already complained about this in another post, so we'll move
on.
And
now the worst one: Automatic braking. What the actual fuck? Excuse
me. I am driving the car. I will decide when we brake. Full stop. No
pun intended. Sorry, no, I am just fundamentally against anything
that takes control and specifically decision-making out of the hands
of the driver.
 |
| Yyyyyyeah. |
So
what happens the first time the feature malfunctions while you're
doing 120 on the highway with an F250 tailgating you? Right.
On
top of that, have you ever had your car do something unexpected,
perhaps while moving at speed? It's not a great feeling, is it? Do
you think it would be improved if it occurred as, say, a drunk driver
ploughed into the back of a bus up ahead? Rather than thank their
guardian angel, I think the average driver would be so startled by
the car taking action without their input that it would actually
hamper their ability to perform any other manoeuvres that might be
necessary to avoid becoming involved in the accident – manoeuvres
which would already be harder to perform under braking, by the way.
Besides
which, setting aside how much I've slagged off the average driver
throughout this post, how bad do you think people's hazard
identification skills are? Most people's kneejerk (heh) reaction when
confronted by any kind of driving situation is to hit the brakes
anyway, even and maybe especially when the best response would be to
accelerate, so the extra half-second is just not worth it.
 |
| Samson Drifter from Mafia 3. Source. |
“So,
Rude Boy, I suppose you hate ABS too.” Actually no. ABS is
acceptable because it genuinely improves safety, is fairly reliable,
and – and this is critical – behaves consistently, generally
activating under the same combination of conditions (speed, load,
brake input, and so forth), thus becoming no more than another tool
in the driver's toolbox, augmenting her abilities and contributing to
the driving experience rather than detracting from it. Yeah, you can
grow to depend on it, but the average person will never again drive a
car without ABS (most people under, like, 30 never even have), and
for a majority of people, in a majority of situations, ABS is
superior to no ABS. (Yes, you can, and indeed must, learn to balance
the brakes right on the edge of locking up in a vehicle without ABS,
but does that shorten your stopping distance relative to if it DID
have ABS? No.)
*
Now
there are, last time I counted, roughly a hundred billion companies
competing in this space. Tesla is doing it because Elon Musk is
forward-thinking as hell, hence the electric cars (OH MY FUCKING GOD
ELECTRIC CARS UGH.) Uber is going for it because, presumably, they
imagine a future in which they offer a fleet of self-driving taxis
rather than contracting service providers. Google, via Waymo, a
subsidiary of Alphabet, is in on it too, because since the day it was
founded Google's business strategy has been “try a bunch of random
bullshit.” And then there are the various startups focussing on
just this one particular issue, many of them formed of refugees from
some of the companies I just mentioned.
The
significant thing here is that each of these companies has slightly
different reasons for pursuing this goal – meaning their vision of
the future of autonomous driving may actually vary more widely than
you'd assume – and that they bring vastly different strengths and
capabilities.
 |
| Mercedes's self-driving concept. Source. |
Because
it's not just tech companies who are in the game – traditional,
non-Tesla vehicle manufacturers are having a go at it as well. It
would be like if instead of getting Bill Gates to make Windows, IBM
not only attempted to make their own software solution, but were
actually competing against his at the same time. Toyota even
partially funded the MIT project mentioned earlier. It's a new
frontier in business, and in some ways it doesn't even make a lot of
sense, but here we are.
I
wonder if this is the beginning of a bigger trend? If it's good
enough for Prius and Spider-Man: Homecoming, what other intersecting
markets could benefit from collaboration between semi-competing
companies?
*
The
Prius article shares some words from the team lead: “I think we
share the vision with Toyota that driving can be fun and people want
to continue to drive.” And an unrelated researchers says, “Everyone
thinks it's going to be super exciting to be in a self-driving car
but it's actually going to be super boring.”
I
still hope I never have to give up driving. If the Japanese
government grandfathers in currently insured vehicles, I will keep
all my current cars on the road until I die, probably in a
spectacular traffic accident caused by human error and safety
standards that are decades out of date. If they give everybody a hard
deadline, say ten years, then my motorcycle will become my new daily.
(Unlike most motorcyclists, I actually prefer driving to riding, but,
if it comes to that, ten times out of ten I will choose to ride a
motorcycle over being chauffered inside a robot.) If they take away
our motorcycles – and they haven't so far, incredibly, so it's
possible they never will – then I guess I'll just be hitting the
track every weekend. I'd still be having a huge part of my identity
ripped away, but at least I'd be able to get that comforting
sensation of controlling a vehicle every once in a while. And I'll
also, uh, play games like Grand Theft Auto, I guess?
Enjoy
the thrill of driving. While you still can.
